lost and confused

lol sorry ray-ray sorry to all that cant keep up with all these post but I am lost I am confused I am also tired. I feel like I treat people wrong and if so I am sorry but now it seems to be happening to me and my tears are flowing they cant seem to stop... Back up friend *sigh* it sucks one minute you say oh yeah shes my BFF then I read your post and things like that and boom there are all these other people I feel forgotten like if I am your friend then let it be known to others 2 I let my whole family know when they look in my phone sayin "who dis boy wit da glasses" or something like " Ali who this fat girl" one time my cousin said that and I hit him so hard I kinda smaked him onto the bed that was on the otherside of the room noone cracks on my friends and I dont let my family do it because I would do the same thing to an outsider who tryed talking about them... so dont treat me like a backup friend because its unfair to me. Lost and confused is what I shouldnt be I wanna have friends loads of ummm but there are only a few with good heads on there sholders and there are only a few I feel like I can trust so I make it my business to make them my friend others I just dont care about but if you are going to treat me the way you do then forget you and forget them I tryed and now I see new potential only one person I actually feel I betrayed and let down and to her I say sorry I am deeply sorry I let you down but to the one who wants to treat me wrong man what ever I am done trying. Now yeah we will always be classmates ( I have cooled down and I now have a clear mind) someone told me to erase your butt from my life but unlike that person I cant do that known you to long and tryed to hard to get where I am besides you helped me get where I am so maybe thats why I am confused on this situation I am sorry for over reacting but a back up friend no way man not even goin down like that either I am your friend or we aint friends at ALL!!! (clear mind) I am still getting a little heated but thats just not right for me
And if you dont want me as a friend than just tell me your being just like the characters in my writers notebook your playing mind games and I dont need that Friends? not friends? simple questions deserving a simple answer... No need for hesitation either if you dont want to be friends its cool...